Around this time last year, a series of events started the ball rolling on this journey I have found myself on. Most of these occurrences are too private to share. It all came to a point a little over a month ago. At that point, I was forced to take a good look at myself and ask, "who am I?" I've always been one to balk at the idea that you are not what you do. In my mind, until recently, what you did was EXACTLY who you were. But then I really started looking at myself, and I don't want to be the person my past actions have define me as. That person has very little backbone and likes the status quo. I realized, during some intense introspection, that I like having the facade that everything is OK. That I have it all together. In contrast to that, the people I admire most are those who have the courage to simple be themselves and don't really give a damn what other people think. My desire for this picture perfect life I tried to create has been challenged unmercifully and in all honesty, I can say its not something I desire anymore. I just want to live life. And life is imperfect. I'm not going to make all the right decisions. Occasionally, things will fall apart. But living the life you think you're supposed to have will only leave you disappointed.
If there is anything I have learned this year, its that you have to keep moving forward and embrace life as it happens. The good and the bad. Because the bad makes the good that much sweeter. I am grateful for the people in my life who have played a part in teaching me this lesson. The happiest people are those who can simply be content. They don't try to impress or cover up mistakes. They are true to themselves and others. I want to be one of those people.
