Crazy to say, but this week marks the anniversary of the week that changed my life forever. I recently downloaded the app Timehop and it's been interesting to see my posts from this time last year - before everything blew up. And that's pretty much the best phrase for it. You see, I've always heard you have to hit "rock bottom" before you can go up. And this time last year - I hit rock bottom. And then, because I'm a slow learner, I hit it over and over again in the year that followed. And I'm not sure whether it's ironic or cyclical that this time last year, I was getting ready to attend an AP Conference and here I am - prepping for this year's conference. I like to stay (for the most part) vague on why my marriage...imploded, but I thought the anniversary of its death would be a good time to reflect on the past year and what it has meant for me.
First, "2013 Christy" would never have been able to guess where I'd be today. And that, my friends, is an awesome thing to be able to say. Because while I've had to continually be thrown down over and over again, I am a much stronger person emotionally, spiritually, and even physically than I was last summer. It all seems like a distant memory now, but I can remember everything about that week. I remember the pain, the exhaustion, and fear - there was a LOT of fear. But when I compare to where I am right now, at this moment, I can actually smile. I know I had to go through that to get to here and have, dare I say it? A pretty peaceful and successful life.
Second, this past year has proven to me over and over that I have the most amazing support group in the world. My friends and family have been there every step of the way and have yet to say they are tired of talking to me. And trust me, I was tired of listening to me talk at some points. :) Chances are that you are the only people who read my blog anyways so I want to extend the biggest "thank you" I can across the cyber world. It's in the dark times that you find out who your true friends are, and I not only kept the ones I had, but gained new ones as well.
Third, I can not put into words how humbled and grateful I am to God who opened my eyes to a lot of things that were pulling me in the wrong direction. For the first time in my life, I feel like there is a purpose to me, my life, my actions. It's not just a scramble to survive, it's a chance to make the world a better place. Truth and love is all that really matters in the end, and I am glad that I went through these experiences so that I could learn that.
I know that it's not all peaches and cream from here on out. (That being said, I'm still NOT divorced - yay Texas laws...) But I feel so much more equipped to handle what comes my way. I am not the scared, hopeless girl I was last year. For the first time EVER, I truly feel like an adult. And I know 27 years is a long time to grow up, but I'm pretty confident I still beat some people. I know a lot of you are now struggling with the same issues I have been dealing with and it's important for you to know that things do actually get better. They work out - sometimes better than you had even dreamed of. So keep up the fight and cross the finish line. The race is worth the pain and doubt that you have to experience. Life is beautiful, my friends. Keep living it.
