Mother's Day Tribute Part 1

Mother's Day is just around the corner.  Every year, I try to think of something...some object... that would truly represent my appreciation and gratitude for my mom.  It's a tough job.  My mom is not a person easily impressed by objects.  She will appreciate the effort and thought that went into the gift, but there isn't any THING that she is just dying to have.  In addition, some of you know that the past year was one of those life changing years for me.  I didn't rebel in high school, so apparently, I decided to play catch up once I was older.  That year away from my family put a lot of things in perspective for me.  And with it, came someone new.  My awesome daughter.  There cannot be one shred of doubt in anyone's mind that I love my son with all my heart.  But holding that tiny girl for the first time opened my eyes to what it is to really be a woman and mom in this crazy world we live in.  And it's one of the things that pushed me back to where I needed to be - home.  So I'm doing a blogging series leading up to Mother's Day to pay tribute to the incredibly strong and beautiful women in my life who don't always get the credit they deserve, even from me.  More often than not, I'm using them as a verbal spring board or (rarely) punching bag when things get too much.  Despite my flaws and mistakes, they have shaped me into the person I am today.  And words will never be enough to repay their kindness and generosity of spirit. But it is a start.

What I love most about my mom, is that she is 100% mine and there is no one else in the world like her.  It's always hard for me to think up something to write in her birthday cards and such, which is strange because words come naturally for me.  I've given it a lot of thought over the past few days, and I've come to the conclusion that I have the most trouble expressing my feelings for her because there are so many things I want to say, that it's just hard to organize them into one paragraph or body of text that doesn't end up sounding like a crazy ramble.  My mom is the driving force that has pushed me every year of my life to do better than the last.  She's my biggest cheerleader, my safe zone, and the frying pan to my head when I need common sense knocked into me.  I didn't realize how much I had and the extent to which I needed her until I (foolishly) thought I could make it on my own.  Worst year of my life.

My mom has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  She takes kids in from any background and raises them the same way she raised me.  Seriously.  She never once treated them any differently.  Every child who enters her home will leave it with the knowledge that God, a good work ethic and a good sense of humor will fix every problem we have.  She's not known for her subtlety, so never ask her a question that you don't want an honest answer to.  And 90% of the time, she'll tell you how she feels whether you ask or not.  This used to annoy me.  Still does some days.  But in the end, I walked away with respect for the truth, and the understanding that you truly show someone you care when you are honest with them.  It takes a brave person to be honest and mom is one of the bravest people I know.

I will never be able to say I'm sorry enough for the things I've said to her when I'm angry.  She has witnessed more melt downs than anyone else, and that usually means that she ends up being the one taking the brunt impact of whatever I'm feeling that day.  But she is my safety net.  I can cry, scream and freak out and in the end, she tells me what I need to hear and picks me back up again.  I'm afraid to think of where I would be without her in my life.  Here's to you, Mom.  This blog is a sad excuse of a tribute to the mom you really are.  I'm so glad that you were there when I needed you most and that you are such a big part of my kids' lives.  Love you.