So much to write, so little time

I hate starting the day off in a negative mood, because we all know the cycle that creates.  Today is my 5th wedding anniversary, and I would be lying if I said that just the date alone isn't having a psychological toll on me today.  I can honestly say I never want to make that kind of commitment again. Sure, a part of me would like the companionship that comes from the romantic relationship department, but the bigger part of me is screaming, "No thanks, it's not worth it."  I'm smart enough to realize that this, too, is just a psychological reaction to having gone through a not pleasant marriage to say the least.  And after an hour and a half of defending myself on why I married him in the first place (just two days ago!), it seriously made me rethink the whole point of relationships. Sadly, the hearing seemed to be less of what was best for the kids and more a criticism of me loving some guy who wasn't worth it.  And that's seriously the impression I got from his lawyer.  And, because therapists like their 9 to 5 job too, I use my blog and friends to keep the pressure down.  I like blogging because I can throw all my thoughts out there in one giant, jumbled mess and not have to deal with the patronizing platitudes guaranteed to be thrown my way.  The child in me still wants to stamp my feet and scream it's not fair and the adult Christy wants to tell that child she is annoying and to get lost. Most of you know that I love sarcasm, even when it's directed at me.  So the irony that our marriage is still going and he probably actually remembered the date this year is amusing to me. 

In other news, last night I read an article in "Countryside", which is a homesteading magazine. ((And yes, that's because I turned 65 last year!)) The magazine lets anyone submit articles to be printed.  One lady, (I'm assuming of the older generations) had blasted my generation for being a lazy, give-me generation, who only knows how to make money by having children and taking welfare.  I was deeply offended by this.  Not only do I think this does NOT apply to me, but it doesn't apply to hardly anyone in my age group I know.  I work well over 40 hours a week.  When I'm home, I'm either grading/lesson planning or working on a project that I hope will better our home and the lives of my children.  I don't get food stamps, or government insurance, or any other type of tax-payer assistance.  My parents help me buy formula and diapers because they're awesome.  I think the problem with our society is not those who "leech" the welfare system.  It's the constant degrading of those who do not.  I would like to point out that those "useless eaters" were raised by a "better generation of hard workers".  Apparently something did not stick.  My parents had me always busy.  Whether it was cleaning the garage for the 15th time or reading, traveling, and simply having fun, there was not a lot of downtime.  They taught me the value of hard work, just like several of my friends were raised.  In fact, it is because of my parents and grandparents that I'm not afraid to tackle a big project even if I have no idea what I'm doing.  I am not going to judge those on welfare as leeches, because I know some people just need help occasionally.  But I realize there are those who take advantage of it.  This has occurred in EVERY generation!  Jamestown nearly died out because the men were too lazy to farm!  Our founding fathers used slaves as a free labor source so they could have the posh life as landowners and time to think about the Constitution.  Is this the American work ethic I should mimic? Laziness is a problem throughout history and NOT applicable to just one generation.  And this rant was too long for a facebook post. :) 

As usual, you are welcome to disagree. Unlike magazines, my blog has a comment box you can use to directly challenge me.  Have fun.