Extreme Makeover: Trailer Edition

I've been using this break from work to get some work done at home.  It's become my much-needed stress reliever.  I like to think it's a much healthier habit than stress eating.  This new year is going to be my new start, so I need a home to match the idea, right?  Something about being able to see physical progress and know that I've managed to fix something or make it better keeps me happy.  And I really haven't invested too much money into it, which is nice.

Sometimes, I like to wonder what I would do if I didn't teach.  I think it would be really fun to flip houses.  I like jobs where I have a check list.  Once I complete it, and do it right, I KNOW I've done a good job.  You don't ever get that satisfaction when you teach.  You get obscure data from an obscure test with a bunch of obscure reasons from the state of why next year's test will be better.  Every person I've talked to HATES the testing system in Texas, so why do we still keep it?  I've never met anyone who says, "Oh yeah, standardized tests....totally the way to go."  I readily recognize the need for some kind of measurement, but the test isn't working. End rant.

Before the break is over, I'm going to finish the main living/kitchen area of the house and hopefully get started on my bedroom.  I'm still throwing around ideas for the kids' room, so I'm holding off till I have a better idea of what they (I) want in there. lol.  Take care till the new year, folks!

Resolutions for Dummies

Who am I kidding?  I can't even follow my end of year resolution to blog everyday.  BUT - I have been super busy this past week.  And that's busy in an enjoyable way.  I "built" my own entertainment center out of two bookshelves and some wood.  And tomorrow's project will be making a birdhouse from an old, beat up guitar.

Much to my excitement, this year is FINALLY almost over.  Let's look at 2013: 1. Living away from Fannett for the first time ever (while I didn't hate it, it wasn't home). 2. Pregnant - had the coolest chick on the planet 3. Took a leap, got a new job. 4. Took a nose dive off a cliff - got divorced. 5. Moved back home. With the exception of #2, I could do without almost all of these things. :)  Anyone who knows ANYTHING about me knows I do NOT like change.  2013 was a year of changes.  We have to go through these transition times to become better people in the end, but sometimes, I wish they were more....spread out.  Why do they have to happen all at once, ya know?

Here's my do-able resolutions for 2014.

1. Do everything in my power to start grad school.
2. Find a job within 20 miles of my kids.
3. Get down to 140 lbs.  (I'm so not starting this till January...I have a few days of FREEDOM!!)
4. Blog more regularly.
5. Climb Pike's Peak
6. Be more creative.
7.  Make a new friend.
8.  Enjoy life - find one thing a day to be thankful for.

What's your resolutions?  Are they legit resolutions? or something you'll drop within a week?

Christmas!

I'm often amazed by how supportive my family is.  I don't say it enough but my parents are amazing.  I'm almost positive that half the time they don't even begin to understand why I do the things I do, but they never try to bring me down.  And after this past year, there's probably been a few times they wanted to take me down a notch or two. :)  My in-laws rank right up there as well.  I'm pretty sure I could tell them I wanted to be an astronaut and they would tell me to go for it. This Christmas has been the perfect example of how much awesome-ness I am surrounded by.  Every single person in my family went out of their way to make sure this was the best Christmas so far.  The kids and I enjoyed every minute of it.  Today was exactly what we needed to jump start this new chapter of our life and I'm so thankful to everyone who was a part of it.  I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas just as much.  Now, let the countdown to 2014 begin!

Let the countdown begin...

I am finally starting to believe that 2013 will end with me still in one piece, both mentally and physically. It's been a tough year.  And, sadly, I believe it's been a tough year for everyone I know.  My problems are not the worst I have heard of, and my heart goes out to those people.  Divorce is a very strange process.  It has the ability to bring out the best and worst in people.  And it has done both with me.  Like most people, I don't like to dwell on the things I do wrong, but I am not so ignorant as to believe that I played no part in the dissolution of my marriage. As I've touched on before, I am grateful that I have learned so many things from it and can move forward.  I've learned that I can handle a lot more than I thought I could.  And with that in mind, I've decided I can learn to be positive.  January 1, 2013 was a different world than I will enter on January 1, 2014.  I am a new person with new experiences and goals and get to build a whole new life for myself and the kids.  My brother put a 2013 recap on his facebook status and it really put things into perspective for me.  He hasn't had an easy year, either. 2013 will be a year to remember for both of us.  Some of it was bad, sure.  But I like to think that what we've learned and GAINED from this year will be what we really remember twenty years from now.  A new beginning.  A beautiful daughter.  New friends.  It's worth it.  Life isn't only about being happy and having good moments, and I get so frustrated with people who believe that.  A perfect relationship doesn't exist.  A perfect career doesn't exist.  Most days, you will go home tired, upset or exhausted.  However, there will be those days when everything goes right.  When you feel like you can conquer the world.  And those days are worth all the bad ones.  They're what keeps you going to the next great day.  So, I know a lot of you are looking to put this year behind you.  Try to find some good from it.  Be grateful for the things you have and the problems you DON'T have.  Start 2014 with the right perspective.

I hope all my teacher friends survive the last week.  I know I will NOT be moving from my couch all day Saturday unless a screaming child is needing something.

Grad School, Here I Come!

It's always been my plan to attend grad school, and up till this semester, I was pretty sure it would be to continue to my history PhD.  However, there are a few wrenches in that plan.  First, I have two very young children.  Second, I really need to be in a better financial position, being that I don't want to spend the next ten years paying off student loans.  And third, I'd like to try my hand at administration.  I think it may actually be more to my liking than I originally thought.  So, with all this in mind, and the fact that my alma mater offers a decent Masters in Education degree (most of it online), I made the plunge and applied for grad school.  If all goes according to plan, I will start next fall.  I'm pretty excited about this next step.  At the very least, it will give me a new appreciation for my bosses and a master's degree, which means a pay raise.  And even if I'm unable to find a job right off, teachers are supposed to be lifelong learners themselves, so expanding my knowledge on the education system can only help. So, look for updates in the future.  My plans are to get this degree, work for a bit, and once the kiddos are older, go back for my PhD in history, with the idea that I may have more time to commit in the future.

Divorce

I've debated with myself on whether or not to post about my divorce.  Even though I regularly post things to Facebook, I'm actually a pretty private person.  Even this post, if you're reading it, will not be a time to air my dirty laundry, but its just a reflection of things I've learned.  If you had met me four years ago, I would have laughed at the idea that I would ever be going through a divorce.  When it comes to relationships, I prefer the old-school ideas of commitment and working out your problems.  (<--I meant that to sound as arrogant as it does.) But the fact is (a fact I was not prepared for) relationships are hard.  They're hard when both people are working 100% for it to be successful.  And every degree that you let that slip, it just gets worse.  And if one person is not willing to work at all, then you might as well walk away, because at that point the relationship is doing nothing or worse. And yes, it gets worse than nothing. Friendships, Family, Marriage - every interaction with another human being is part of building relationships.  It takes a constant effort to maintain that relationship whether it is good or bad.

Here's what I learned from my marriage and divorce -

1.  Children are awesome.  I was never 100% convinced I wanted kids until I had them.  They are seriously the best thing that came out of my marriage and I wouldn't want it any other way.

2.  Getting divorced doesn't make you a bad parent.  Being a dirtbag makes you a bad parent.  Separated parents can still make their kids feel loved and supported and help them make this rocky journey we call life without too many dysfunctions.

3. Don't give up several good relationships for one.  If anyone ever asks you or pressures you to abandon a friendship or family when you don't have a problem with them.  Just walk away.  This isn't even exclusive to marriage.  It's just the right thing to do.

4.  Lies are like fire.  They very quickly get out of control and destroy things.

5.  Forgiveness is both the hardest and most necessary thing in life.  You must receive it and be willing to give it.  And forget about the offense once you give it.

6.  You have to be willing to adapt.  For a relationship to be successful AND for you to be able to walk away from one.  You have to look at yourself and say, "This isn't working.  What needs to change?"

7.  Accept friendship from unexpected sources.  This past year (married and divorced) has taught me the true meaning of friendship and to accept it from anyone.  Anyone can be a friend, you just have to give them a chance.

8.  Don't be arrogant.  NEVER, EVER think that it couldn't happen to you.  It will.  And it will be a lot easier to recover if you haven't burned bridges by being a pompous jerk.

9.  Don't judge others.  This is closely tied to number 9, but it needs to be stressed.  You don't know what other people have been through and you will never understand what they were going through when they decided to give up.

10.  Empathize with others.  Show them your weaknesses and accept theirs.  Love them anyways.  Let them know you've been there and it's hard but people get over it.  The people who have helped me the most have simply said, "I've been there.  It's ok to get stressed.  Here, have some chocolate."

11.  You can't ignore a problem.  Whether its rust on the swimming pool or communication in a relationship.  If you ignore it, it will only get bigger.  It's probably inconvenient or uncomfortable to deal with but its better than letting it spread. ((Dad, that pool reference is for you...story for another blog))

12.  Don't post about it on Facebook.  People who post their problems on Facebook are looking for drama and attention.  90% of the people who read this blog and my Facebook have no idea why  I am getting divorced and probably never will.  It's none of their business anyway.  Besides, bashing an ex may make you feel better, but it eventually gets to the kids.  And kids internalize things.  They don't need your drama either.

13.  Divorce shouldn't be your first option.  Go to counseling.  Talk.  TRY. There are people who hit rock bottom and can get out of it together.

14.  Don't be jealous.  Your relationship didn't work?  You're still single?  It's ok.  It all works out in the end.

and finally...

15.  Be happy wherever you are.  Married, divorced, single, poor, rich....It doesn't mean you have to be a negative, bitter person.  You're alive.  Live.  You're always better off than someone else.

"It's fogging from the trees!"

Oliver is very quickly picking up on this talking thing.  He is also really into Christmas movies, which means he has figured out what snow is...kind of.  He knows what snow looks like.  But, being that we live in good ole Southeast Texas and nowhere near a "White Christmas" region, he has never seen snow.  Last week we had a heavy fog advisory in the area, and Oliver got REALLY excited when he saw a blanket of fog in the yard.  He immediately ran out into it laughing.

Oliver: "It's snowing, Mama!"
Me: "That's not snow, bud.  It's fog."
Oliver: "It's fogging!!! From the trees!"

He really did not care that this was not actually snow.  To him, it looked just like the snow on TV (give him a break, he's two).   As for it's "fogging from the trees", I can only assume he was talking about the water droplets that fall from the trees when its really foggy.  He took a few minutes to run in circles in the yard before I made him get in the car.  (He literally runs in circles, going "Run in Circles!  Run in Circles!"  I've come to learn this means he is really excited. )

Given that you NEVER know what type of weather to expect on Christmas around here, Oliver may get his white Christmas after all, and apparently he will be satisfied with fog or snow.  Can't wait for that kid to get back from his Daddy's so we can finish up our Christmas preparations.

A Very Cheesy Christmas

Christmas means all my favorite seasonal shows are on TV. Frosty the Snowman is a new favorite in the Jones family (for Oliver...rediscovered for myself), as well as How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and I'm hoping to catch Rudolph before Christmas. But seasonal films also means that you will definitely get your fill of cheesy romance/miracle movies and heaven forbid....the Christmas Shoes!!! I cannot watch that movie. Ever. It listen to the song. Whoever wrote it should be forced to attend a Justin Bieber concert for the rest of their lives. Seriously. What a holiday downer.

Tonight, there are a ton of movies that start with Christmas. The Christmas Kiss, A Christmas Miracle, A Christmas Wedding....it just goes on and on. When really, some of the best holiday movies aren't even about the holidays. At least for me. Little Women, Harry Potter...and then there's the classic Christmas movies: It's a Wonderful Life, A Muppet Christmas Carol, Home Alone, A Christmas Story, Miracle on 34th Street.

So my message tonight is to remind you to take some time with family, snuggle up on the couch and catch your favorite movie, or Hunger Games. Hunger Games is always on the watch list. Happy Holidays!

A Letter to Texas Weather

Dear Texas Weather,

There's a few things we need to talk about. But first, let me say that you definitely have your days. Like a nice warm day in early May, or a crisp day in late October. I seriously dig what you can do for a day out on the beach or a hike in the woods. However, on most days of the year, it's like you  can't decide what you want to be. Maybe 84 for Christmas and 34 for Spring Break? I am concerned for you. So I'm writing this letter as an intervention. Most places have normal, or at least predictable weather. I'm afraid you may be suffering from a multiple personality disorder. I believe it would benefit almost everything and everyone in this great state of ours if you would maybe get on some happy pills and figure this out. We all need a little help now and then, and I know a lot of people who will support you in this decision. Think of what this would do...more tourists may decide to visit and then stay forever. More businesses may make their home here. We may get a governor whose not constantly worried about how the humidity will hurt his hair.

Anyways, maybe you could at least consider some normalcy in the future. I really feel like you have the potential.

Sincerely,

CHRISTY

PS I do appreciate what you have done with hurricane season the last few years. Keep up the good work.

Holy Trash Cans, Batman!

Been working on a DIY Christmas gift for my bestie's little boy. They recently bought a new house and his bathroom his Batman themed. So after we both agreed that neither of our kids need anymore toys, I settled on helping him accessorize his new bathroom. Target had some hand towels but I just wasn't feeling them so I decided to test my art skills and make my own. I'm not done yet, but here's the work in progress. Leslie, just don't show Ro. Hope you like it!

Adventures in Geek Land

Don't get me wrong. I wear my Geek title proudly...or maybe I'm more of a nerd. What I am not is tech savvy. But I purchased and fixed up my own domain name for my blog today. It took me about 3 hours for what ended up being a fairly simple process. If you decided to do this yourself, just email me and I'll show you the two step procedure and save you a ton of time and useless YouTube videos. I'm pretty excited about this though. Note all I have to do is settled on a blog topic. Our maybe I should keep with whatever crosses my mind...suggestions? Leave a comment and enter your email to follow my blog!

It's that time of year....

It's officially the holiday season. Which means, as usual, I am experiencing conflicting emotions. I alternate between "yay! I love Christmas!" And "yay...Christmas." This Christmas especially seems to be drawing out any bipolar tendencies that may be lurking in my personality. But Oliver is way into Christmas this year. I don't think he really understands what it is, but he keeps getting told, "wait till Christmas" or "you can't get that today because it may already be under the Christmas tree." (That last one is not usually spoken aloud.) So, needless to say, he's really excited. The other day, he actually started kissing our ornaments and telling me they were pretty and he wanted to give them a hug.  This will be our first Christmas separated, and we haven't worked out a schedule for festivities yet, but I'm hoping it won't cause too much of a disturbance. But, before I get sidetracked, Christmas is that one time of year when people generally tend to remember that there are others out there who are in need. And that's why Christmas is my favorite time of year. I've decided that I'm not going to go over board on gifts to the kids. It looks like I have a lot of gifts under the tree, but I actually forgot and wrapped Oliver's stocking stuffers. So he'll be unwrapping a lot of non gift items like a ninjas turtle toothbrush and stuff. (And mom keeps bringing over presents when she thinks I'm not looking.) But I do not want my kids associating Christmas with how many gifts they can receive. I would much rather them learn it is the season for giving. So, we will be donating old toys and trying to buy some for toy drives. And hopefully, I'll have some time to get out there and be useful to someone. If you have any creative ideas, let me know. I refuse to sing but I'll gladly be the one that serves some warm cider while everyone else carols away. Please remember the less fortunate. Remember those without toys or a Christmas dinner and find a way to serve someone this holiday.  And watch Little Women at least once because it's my favorite movie for the holidays!

A list, because lists are cool.

My kids are awesome. I was never a person who felt like I HAD to have kids. But since day one, I find myself amazed that somehow I was a part of them coming into existence. So here ya go, ten of the top reasons I love each of my kids.

Oliver:
1. He is serious. And I love that. This kid is a physical clone of his father, but I have a feeling his brain works just like mine. (Which accounts for the size lol)
2. He has a great sense of humor. When I can understand him, he usually knows how to make me laugh.
3. He loves ninja turtles. I love ninja turtles. Enough said.
4. He's polite. Unless he's over-tired, he's going to say yes ma'am and please. And I didn't do much to get that established. He also says excuse me. Because he rocks.
5. He's an animal lover.
6. He likes to give surprise hugs and kisses.
7. He likes to play hide and seek.
8. He misses the numbers 1 and 3 when he counts to 6.
9. He has beautiful eyes.
10. He loves his sister.

Layan:
1. She has the biggest laugh of any young child I have ever met...if you can get it out of her.
2. She's going to be my chatter box. I can feel it now.
3. She has "the look".
4. She is interested in everything around her. She watched Les Mis with me like it was Yo Gabba Gabba.
5. She loves her Uncle Phil.
6. From the day we brought her home, she has adored her big brother and loves talking to him.
7. Her hair. It's beautiful and there's a lot of it.
8. She really seems like she's not afraid of anything.
9. She's got my eyes. Hopefully they stick around. You know how those recessive genes can be.
10. She's little but strong.

The Pity Party is Over

Writing has always been second nature to me. I don't mean to say I'm amazing at it, but I'm decent and it's always been my chosen method of communication. The last few months, writing has been a challenge for me. Writing has permanence. Once written, it becomes real. And I haven't wanted the past few months to be real. I never saw myself in this situation. And while I don't necessarily feel bad for myself (I know I am beyond blessed), I haven't done a great job of thinking of anyone else. On that note, forgiveness is certainly easier to talk about than to put into action. I struggle with it on a daily basis. I know forgiveness is something I must seek and give daily, but it always seems easier just to find a punching bag (real or metaphorical). That's simply being selfish. There's no other word for it.

So I want to start over. To remind myself that there are others out there who need me more than me. A friend once told me that people who get depressed are the ones who only think of themselves and their own problems. They forget the blessings they have and choose to focus on their inconveniences instead. Life isn't easy. But it becomes easier when you have a purpose. And there is not a better purpose to have than loving others.

From now on, you have my permission to smack me next time I complain or fixate on my issues. Tell me to get over it. This post probably makes little to no sense. But I'm going to stick with it and hopefully my writing comes back. And maybe I can entertain you with a story or two occasionally.

Change Up!

I took some big risks this summer.  Some were super personal.  Others not so much.  In addition to our new (absolutely beautiful) family member, there were a lot of changes going on in the Jones Family.  I entered this summer pretty run down. Physically, emotionally, spiritually...any way you looked at it, I'd had enough.  This mindset that I was just "stuck" was really depressing.  Then, out of nowhere, everything changed.  And within two weeks, my life had suddenly started down a very new path.  I got a new job.  And have I told you how awesome it is?  I'm not going to disrespect Hardin.  My years there were great.  I met some great friends and learned a lot about myself and teaching.  But my new school just feels like a perfect fit for me.  I've worked harder these past three weeks than I have in years.  It's challenging, but its fun.  The atmosphere is positive and uplifting.  I mean, it must be right?  Because I'm driving roughly an hour to an 1 1/2 hrs one way and I'm STILL looking forward to going every day. I can honestly say its not just a paycheck.  I feel like I'm making a difference.  I feel like I'm working towards something great.  And that really is a reward in itself.  To have a purpose means everything.   In my personal life, things are improving.  I feel confident, and I have a lot more clarity in what I want for myself and my family.  A friend asked me once if I believed God spoke to people.  I am sad to admit that I kind of hedged away from the answer, because at the time, it was something I was questioning myself.  But, this summer, I believe that He did.  There were no lights from the heavens or crazy visions.  Just the certainty that I was doing what was right.  That everything would be ok and taking these chances wouldn't be a bad thing.  My family (in laws included) have been super supportive and I will never be able to repay my friends who were there in the breakdowns and long, crazy nights.  Everything that was done for me was not taken for granted.  My problem was simply fear.  I was afraid of what would happen if I challenged the status quo...I was afraid that if I stepped out on the edge, the mountain would collapse beneath me.  It didn't.  Those obstacles that were so intimidating two months ago seem almost laughable.  I'm not going to say everything will be perfect from here on out.  I've had a few low points along the way.  But fear is not going to be something I succumb to any more.  Fear is just a mental obstacle.  Once you get past it, you realize that the possibilities are endless and exciting! My kids are awesome and beautiful.  My family is actually moving FORWARD and not just spinning our wheels.  My job is fun.  I truly cannot ask for more.

Being an Adult

I hate change. Hate it. Granted, sometimes it brings good things aka...my kids. But a lot of times it brings BAD things, or, at the very least, things you could live without. But this year has been the year of change for yours truly, so would one thing more really hurt? I'm currently faced with what could become a life changing decision. Seriously, my entire life would change. And this change would be completely my decision. I don't have to make it. I can let this opportunity pass by and go on with life as I know it. Or, I could "take a leap" and go for it. There's not anyone who can make this decision for me. And that's a lot of pressure. There's honestly not a lot in life that I can honestly say has been 100% my decision. There's always been contributing factors. I am (sadly) poorly equipped to handle such a decision. Did I mention there are time limitations??? Yeah. Talk about pressure...(starts singing along with Queen). I'll let you know how I feel about change in a week or so. For now, my prayer buddies, just pray I make the best decision for me and the kiddos. 

Moving Forward

I haven't written a blog post in almost a year. There's a simple and not-so-simple explanation for this. Simple: its been a crazy year. Not so simple: I've had to do a lot of soul searching in the past 10 months and when that's happening, it's hard to organize your thoughts into one focused area for too long. 

Around this time last year, a series of events started the ball rolling on this journey I have found myself on. Most of these occurrences are too private to share. It all came to a point a little over a month ago. At that point, I was forced to take a good look at myself and ask, "who am I?" I've always been one to balk at the idea that you are not what you do. In my mind, until recently, what you did was   EXACTLY who you were. But then I really started looking at myself, and I don't want to be the person my past actions have define me as. That person has very little backbone and likes the status quo. I realized, during some intense introspection, that I like having the facade that everything is OK. That I have it all together. In contrast to that, the people I admire most are those who have the courage to simple be themselves and don't really give a damn what other people think. My desire for this picture perfect life I tried to create has been challenged unmercifully and in all honesty, I can say its not something I desire anymore. I just want to live life. And life is imperfect. I'm not going to make all the right decisions. Occasionally, things will fall apart. But living the life you think you're supposed to have will only leave you disappointed. 

If there is anything I have learned this year, its that you have to keep moving forward and embrace life as it happens. The good and the bad. Because the bad makes the good that much sweeter. I am grateful for the people in my life who have played a part in teaching me this lesson. The happiest people are those who can simply be content. They don't try to impress or cover up mistakes. They are true to themselves and others. I want to be one of those people.